ANGER MANAGEMENT


WHAT IS ANGER?




A strong feeling of annoyance, displeasure or hostility.
An automatic reaction to any real or imagined frustration or injustice (Dr Creflo Dollar).
An emotional state experienced by everyone, but impossible to define precisely. It occurs in varying degrees of intensity, from wild annoyance or aggravation, to violent rage (Gary R Collins).


CAUSES


Sloppy service
Traffic jams
Failure
Injustice
Humiliation
Dissapointment
PainGrief.
Rudeness.
Criticism.
Financial problems.
Being teased.
Hunger.
Infidelity.


SIGNS THAT YOU NEED ANGER MANAGEMENT


You abuse your partner or children.
You find yourself involved in fights.
You threaten violence to people or property.
You have numerous arguments with people around you.
You explode.
You internalize.
You lose your temper when driving and become reckless.
You have outbursts where you break things.
You react to situations emotionally.
You in your moments of anger do things which you later regret.


ANGER MISBELIEFS


Misbelief - appropriate label we give to a lie we tell ourselves.
Anger is sin.
Anger is bad.
There is nothing I can do about it (Col 3:8).
Somebody/something made me angry.
Godly people do not get angry (Psalm 7:11, Num 11:1, Exod 32:19, Mark 3:1-5).


UNHEALTHY WAYS OF DEALING WITH ANGER


Drinking.
Smoking.
Self-mutilation.
Over-eating.
Not eating.
Confrontation.
Being abusive.
Silent treatment.
Suicide.
Vengeance.
Repression.
Suppression.
Explosion.


ANGER WARNING SIGNS


Breathing Faster
Pounding heart
Knots in your stomach
Shaking
Clenching your hands or jaw
Headache
Pacing
Irritability
Inability to concentrate
Tense muscles
Sweating
Dizziness
Feeling hot in the neck/face
Feeling like striking out verbally or physically
Raising your voice
Craving a drink, a smoke or other substance to relax you


WHY CONTROL ANGER


Out of control anger hurts your physical health
Out of control anger hurts your mental health
Out of control anger hurts your relationships with others
Out of control anger hurts your career
Out of control anger can get you into trouble
Exercise self-control: Gal 5:22
We are more than conquerors: Rom 8:37


EFFECTS OF ANGER


Headaches
Digestion problems
Insomnia
High Blood Pressure
Heart attack
Ulcers
Stroke
Depression
Skin problems e.g. eczema


Addictions (to alcohol, tobacco etc)
Compromised immune system
Irrational behaviour and self-destructive decisions
Bitterness
Self destructive behavior e.g. suicide
Impaired thinking capacity
Low sex drive
Increased irritability
Being unpleasant


MANAGING ANGER


Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry" James 1:19.
Admit it.
Understand it.
"A wise man restrains his anger and overlooks insults. This is to his credit" Prov 19:11 (TLB)
Walk away.
Calm down;
"Fools have short fuses and explode all too quickly; the prudent quietly shrug off insults" Prov 12:16 (Msg)
Control your thoughts;
"A good man thinks before he speaks, the evil man pours out his evil words without a thought" Prov 15:28 (TLB).
Change your beliefs (ABC)


Use thought distracting techniques.
"In your anger do not sin. Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry" Eph 4:26.
"I have resolved that my mouth will not sin" Ps 17:3
Exercise self-control.
"It is better to have self-control than to control an army" Prov 16:32
"Controlling your temper is better than capturing a city" Prov 16:32 (NCV)
"But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives; love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control" Gal 5:22
Drink lots of cold water.
Take some deep breaths from the abdomen.
Practice relaxation skills.
Gentle answer;
"A gentle answer will calm a person's anger, but an unkind answer will cause more anger" Prov 15:1 (NCV)
Constructively express anger;
"Don't use bad language. Say only what is good and helpful to those you are talking to, and what will give them a blessing" Eph 4:29 (TLB)
Share matter with wise Counsellor.
Leave vengeance to God;
"Dear friends, never avenge yourselves. Leave that to God" Rom 12:19 (TLB)
"They called him every name in the book and he said nothing back. He suffered in silence, content to let God set things right" 1 Peter 2:23 (Msg)