HOW TO HANDLE GRIEF


Grief is "...a normal response to the loss of any significant person, object or opportunity" Gary Collins - Christian Counselling :page 345


Grief arises because something or someone of value has been lost and the griever is faced with the emptiness and difficult task of readjusting". Gary Collins - Christian Counselling : page 346


Grief is experienced by everyone. üIt is a reality that we must all face.


Grief is universal.


"It is the method of handling grief that is unique and personal". Billy Graham - Facing Death & the Life After : page 164.


TYPES OF LOSS


The loss of a relationship.


Loss of valued possessions.


Loss of a contest.


Loss of an opportunity.


Loss of youthful looks.


Loss of confidence.


Loss of status.


Job loss.


Loss of a significant team player.


Loss of a Pastor.


Loss of a loved one.


FEELINGS ASSOCIATED WITH LOSS


Shock.


Denial.


Numbness.


Anger.


Guilt.


Anxiety.


Hopelessness.


Insecurity.


Sorrow.


Loss of identity.


Irritability.


Self-condemnation.


THE GRIEVER'S CHALLENGES


 Accepting the loss.


Admitting the pain of the loss.


Adjusting to a new environment in which the deceased person is missing.


Forming new relationships.


Abraham mourned for Sarah.


"When Sarah was 127 years old, she died in Hebron in the land of Canaan, there Abraham mourned and wept for her" Gen 23:2.


Jacob mourned for Joseph.


"Then Jacob tore his clothes, put on sackcloth and mourned for his son many days" Gen 37:34-38.


 Samuel mourned for Saul.


"Then the Lord said to Samuel, "How long will you mourn for Saul, since I have rejected him as king over Israel?"  1 Sam 16:1


"We despised him and rejected him...a man of sorrows, acquainted with grief" Isa 53:3-4.


"Jesus wept".  John 11:35


TYPES OF GRIEF


How one grieves depends on such factors as; -One's personality. -One's religious beliefs. -One's attachment to the deceased/lost item. -One's environment. -Whether the loss was anticipated or sudden. -There is normal grief and abnormal grief.


TYPES OF GRIEF


"Normal grief usually involves intense sorrow, pain, loneliness, anger, depression, physical symptoms and changes in interpersonal relationships" Gary R Collins - Christian Counselling -page 347.


Abnormal grief is, "grief that is intensified, delayed, prolonged, denied, or otherwise deviating from the normal expressions of sorrow.  It is a grief that keeps the mourner in bondage to the deceased person and prevents one from coping and moving on with life". Gary R Collins - Christian Counselling - page 347.


EFFECTS OF ABNORMAL GRIEF


 Lack of interest in the outside world.


Withdrawal.


Antisocial behaviour.


Resistance to offers of counselling.


Refusal to show emotion or to appear affected by the loss.


Euphoric attitude (sometimes explained as "rejoicing in the Lord").


STAGES IN THE GRIEVING PROCESS


Denial.


Anger.


Depression.


Acceptance.


Recovery.


 


OVER-COMING GRIEF


 You are not the first to suffer loss.


Think of others who have suffered similar loss.


Accept the loss.


Express your feelings.


Know that you are not alone.


"... I am with you always, even to the end of the world" Matt 28:20.


"Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me" Psalm 23:4


Fear not.


"Do not be afraid". Rev 1:17


"Fear ye not therefore, ye are of more value than many sparrows" Matt 10:31.


Worry is not a solution.


"Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?" Matt 6:27


God cares.


"Casting all your care upon him, for he careth for you". 1 Peter 5:7


Talk to others who suffered loss and recovered. ØStrengthen yourself in the Lord.


"So, David and his men came to the city, and there it was, burned with fire, and their wives, their sons, and their daughters had been taken captive.  Then David and the people who were with him lifted up their voices and wept, until they had no more power to weep...Now David was greatly distressed, for the people spoke of stoning him...but David strengthened himself in the Lord his God".


For the christian, death is not the end of existence; it is the beginning of life eternal.


Those who mourn will be comforted.


"Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted" Matt 5:4.


"Weeping may endure for a night, But joys comes in the morning" Psalm 30:5.